I hear a lot of women say “I don’t really have a lot of friends” or “I don’t get along well with other women”…and when I hear women say this, my first thought is “Why not??? What the heck is wrong with you???”. Call me crazy but this doesn’t make too much sense to me. It actually makes me a little sad. Sad because, none of us are perfect but when people miss the calling on their own faults and fail to recognize them, then that’s sad. If 50% of the population doesn’t like you, then there must be something wrong with YOU! Fortunate for you I have tons of friends, both male and female and here is is my story and advice to all of the women repellent women out there…
The Party With The Crazy Chick
One of my close friends had a social gathering at her house a few weeks ago. About 30 people showed up and we had a good time. Good food, good music, good company. I was one of the first to get there since I talked her into hosting the event.Â I felt obligated to be on time, otherwise I would have just showed up 2 hours late like I normally do. People started pouring in at about an hour after start time. One person was this girl Shayna. When she came in I greeted her with a warm hand shake and a smile although I had never met her before. I immediately noticed that my friendly greeting was met with a cold fake half smile and a fingertip hand shake (you know the one where the person really doesn’t want to touch you so they only give you their finger tips). My thoughts marinated on it for all of 2.45 seconds and on to the next person. The night settled in and everybody mixed an mingled. The whole house was open for the party so people dispersed into 3 rooms or so. I noticed all night long that Shayna kept stomping back and forth from one room to another. Each time she left a room I could see her do the black girl neck wiggling while mumbling profanities under her breath as if someone had pissed her off and she couldn’t stand to be in the room with them anymore. But then about 20 minutes later, she would go back into the room for more torture. This was the same behavior for each room. She just stormed around the house all night. It was very bizarre!
It Came to Me Like A Song I Wrote
I then realized that I had met her before. A couple of years ago I met her at a brunch. I remember having a conversation with her about her extreme misfortunes of dating in LA (I mean her stories were crazy! I know some good people who have had bad dating luck but all her stories ended with her getting into a shouting match with some man…kinda freaked me out). And we also talked about how surprised she was that we were having such great conversation because she doesn’t normally “get along well” with women. I remember thinking…”You have had really bad experiences dating men and you don’t get along well with women? Men don’t like you and women don’t like you? Who do you get along with? There is a problem here and the common denominator here is YOU!”
It’s Just Plain Funny Now
So as she stormed around the house, wiggling her neck in disdain looking like a bobble head doll, I couldn’t help but to find comedic relief in the situation. At this point it was just down right funny to me. I pointed her behavior out to a good friend and we were just entertained for the rest of the night. As the night wined down, and the remaining stragglers recapped the night over the last few ounces of alcohol, one hot topic was Shayna and how negative she was. I knew what the deal was with her so I stayed out of her conversations but the consensus was that she was very negative. One of the guys even said that she called him “Satan”… What????? who calls another person “Satan” when they first meet? Well, excuse me, apparently Satan’s daughter herself, Shayna does.
After having brunch with her and “enjoying” her at a party, it was clear to me why she doesn’t get along with other women. So here is my advice to Shayna and all women repellent women on how to get along with other women
5 Ways To Make Female Friends
1. Be Nice, Smile, Be Positive.
Women are emotional creatures. We can pick up on vibes and energy. When you meet a woman, if you are having negative thoughts at the time, we will pick up on it. It doesn’t matter if those thoughts are about how you don’t like what we are wearing or if you are thinking about how you want to strangle your boss on Monday morn. It doesn’t matter we will pick up on it. Smiles go a long way. Sometimes women are so accustomed to assumed mental competition when we are in the same room as another woman, that we immediately assume that other women are threatened by us or vice versa. Be secure in yourself and stop mental competitions with other women. Smile and be non-threatening.
2. Don’t Look Lustfully at Another Woman’s Man
This one seems to go without saying but I feel that I do need to say it. If you are giving another woman’s man googly eyes, you will be hated. It’s a lose/lose situation for you: either way, she’s gonna hate you, and if the man does in fact respond then he’s not a good guy. Besides there are so many single men out here, why would you want to make googly eyes at one that’s already taken?
3. Give Compliments
If a woman is wearing something that you admire then why not tell her how good she looks in that amazing Estava Morioka Party dress? She will appreciate it. Most likely she will compliment you back, since you already know that you have similar taste then you’re probably wearing something that she likes too.
4. Stop with the Black Girl Neck Wiggling
The black girl neck wiggle action…It’s not just for black girls anymore. I have some very educated well rounded non-urban acting white girlfriends that do this and I hate it. Its so threatening. You could be having the best conversation with the nicest person in the world but as soon as they whip this one out, they send a message saying that they can flip a crazy switch at any moment.
5. Stop Hating!
“Hating” is just another word for “Being Jealous”. You should never rule someone out as being your friend because you are jealous of them. First of all, be honest with yourself. Do you really not like that girl at work because she is too “arrogant and cocky”? Or is it really because you are jealous of her confidence, her 4 karat diamond engagement ring, her brand new beautiful Gucci bag, or is it the way that her sexy cocktail dress that she got from EstavaMorioka.com hugged her every curve at the office Christmas party? Really be honest with yourself. You never know, if you are nice to her and you become friends, she just might set you up with her fiance’s hunkier richer cousin. Or she might introduce you to her best friend that works at the Gucci store in South Coast Plaza so you can get that discount. Or she might put you on the mailing list for EstavaMorioka.com so that you can be the first to find out about sales and discounts. Or she might just be a really great person and friend. There are so many haters left in the world. Get with the movement. You’re getting old and its getting tired. Get some confidence already!
The World Is Your Red Carpet