How to Get a Butt Like Nicki Minaj
Over the past 5-10 years we have seen a change in the American standard of beauty. In 2000, when a man said that a woman had a “great ass” he was probably referring to a woman who’s butt looked like this
I didn’t realize how much of a paradigm shift had occurred until one night in the Valley (in LA) with friends about 2 months ago….
A Funny Thing Happened: Big Booty Judy
One of my friends had a milestone birthday so the crew and I decided to go to a popular lounge to celebrate. When we have big celebrations everybody comes out and we never know who’s gonna show. The entourage usually grows exponentially because friends invite friends, those friends invite friends, etc…
And this night was no different. Once word got out that we were getting a table at this lounge a couple of my guy friends came and brought their respective lady friends. One guest in particular was this girl named “Judy”. Judy was my friend Joe’s girlfriend’s best friend. She was very attractive. Long beautiful hair, nice body, cute face. All of the single guys that were hanging out with us that night were all over Judy in her sexy cocktail dress. I noticed that her best friend “Christina”, Joe’s girlfriend, kept giving her dirty looks all night while she was flirting with the boys. I thought it was kind of weird since Christina was there with her boyfriend Joe, thus she shouldn’t worry about who Judy was flirting with.
Judy finally chose a suitor from the many that were courting her and she decided to make him her boyfriend for the rest of the night. He just so happened to be one of my good friends, “Dave”. After she chose Dave, he kept coming over to me periodically throughout the night thanking me for inviting him and introducing him to such a wonderful girl. Unfortunately, when the clock struck 12 she had to leave the party because she had to tend to her daughter and the babysitter.
Big Booty Judy’s Secret
After she left, the guys proceeded to have a conversation about her. One topic of the discussion was her body, her butt in particular. You could hear utterings… “You see her A$$?”, “Her butt was CRAZY!”, “My future wife is gonna have a butt that”, etc. That’s when Christina interjected and said “Stop sweatin’ her. Her butt is fake. She was wearing a butt pad”. For a brief second, the crowd went silent and then immediately let out a collective sigh of disapproval. Everyone looked at Dave and Dave looked back at us and said “I knew something wasn’t right when I grabbed her butt on the dance floor. It felt weird”. We all laughed for about 20 minutes.
While everyone was laughing at Dave, I had 3 thoughts that were running wild in my head. 1) Why the hell did Christina hate on her friend?? What part of the game is that??? Who tells their bff’s secret to a group of strangers? I concluded that night that something was going on and that there was more to their story of friendship. A few weeks later we found out that Christina’s boyfriend, Joe was sleeping with Judy and Christina was suspicious at the time but didn’t have any concrete evidence yet. Ummm…yeah, on the list of things that could make someone hate, that’ll be at the top. And the next thought in my head was 2) Is this what the world has come to??? We wearin’ butt pads now? Is it that serious? and 3) What does said butt pad look like? How does such a contraption work?
How to Get a Butt Like Nicki Minaj
I gave this some thought and I have come to the conclusion that, being a backside blessed woman, I really appreciate the effortless efforts of women like J-lo, Kim Kardashian, and Nicki Minaj. They paved the way and put chicks like me in style. Here are the top 4 ways to obtain a 2010 Version of a Nice Butt.
1) Have at least one black parent and pray on it (i know some back girls with flat butts)
2) Wear a butt pad
Click the link below to get your butt pad for $22
3) Get butt implants
4) Do squats, lunges, and the stair master at the gym
This is the most logical solution. Trust me, it works, you’ll feel good, your butt wont feel “weird”, its something that you can actually control unlike your parents, and its inexpensive unlike implants. And you will look amazing in your cocktail party dress from the Estava Morioka collection when you take advantage of our Holiday sale after a good workout session at the gym.