How to Get a Butt Like Nicki Minaj
Over the past 5-10 years we have seen a change in the American standard of beauty. In 2000, when a man said that a woman had a “great ass” he was probably referring to a woman who’s butt looked like this
If a man said that today, he’s probably referencing a woman that looks like this
I didn’t realize how much of a paradigm shift had occurred until one night in the Valley (in LA) with friends about 2 months ago….
A Funny Thing Happened: Big Booty Judy
One of my friends had a milestone birthday so the crew and I decided to go to a popular lounge to celebrate. When we have big celebrations everybody comes out and we never know who’s gonna show. The entourage usually grows exponentially because friends invite friends, those friends invite friends, etc…
And this night was no different. Once word got out that we were getting a table at this lounge a couple of my guy friends came and brought their respective lady friends. One guest in particular was this girl named “Judy”. Judy was my friend Joe’s girlfriend’s best friend. She was very attractive. Long beautiful hair, nice body, cute face. All of the single guys that were hanging out with us that night were all over Judy in her sexy cocktail dress. I noticed that her best friend “Christina”, Joe’s girlfriend, kept giving her dirty looks all night while she was flirting with the boys. I thought it was kind of weird since Christina was there with her boyfriend Joe, thus she shouldn’t worry about who Judy was flirting with.
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Judy finally chose a suitor from the many that were courting her and she decided to make him her boyfriend for the rest of the night. He just so happened to be one of my good friends, “Dave”. After she chose Dave, he kept coming over to me periodically throughout the night thanking me for inviting him and introducing him to such a wonderful girl. Unfortunately, when the clock struck 12 she had to leave the party because she had to tend to her daughter and the babysitter.
Big Booty Judy’s Secret
After she left, the guys proceeded to have a conversation about her. One topic of the discussion was her body, her butt in particular. You could hear utterings… “You see her A$$?”, “Her butt was CRAZY!”, “My future wife is gonna have a butt that”, etc. That’s when Christina interjected and said “Stop sweatin’ her. Her butt is fake. She was wearing a butt pad”. For a brief second, the crowd went silent and then immediately let out a collective sigh of disapproval. Everyone looked at Dave and Dave looked back at us and said “I knew something wasn’t right when I grabbed her butt on the dance floor. It felt weird”. We all laughed for about 20 minutes.
While everyone was laughing at Dave, I had 3 thoughts that were running wild in my head. 1) Why the hell did Christina hate on her friend?? What part of the game is that??? Who tells their bff’s secret to a group of strangers? I concluded that night that something was going on and that there was more to their story of friendship. A few weeks later we found out that Christina’s boyfriend, Joe was sleeping with Judy and Christina was suspicious at the time but didn’t have any concrete evidence yet. Ummm…yeah, on the list of things that could make someone hate, that’ll be at the top. And the next thought in my head was 2) Is this what the world has come to??? We wearin’ butt pads now? Is it that serious? and 3) What does said butt pad look like? How does such a contraption work?
Nicki Minaj
How to Get a Butt Like Nicki Minaj
I gave this some thought and I have come to the conclusion that, being a backside blessed woman, I really appreciate the effortless efforts of women like J-lo, Kim Kardashian, and Nicki Minaj. They paved the way and put chicks like me in style. Here are the top 4 ways to obtain a 2010 Version of a Nice Butt.
1) Have at least one black parent and pray on it (i know some back girls with flat butts)
2) Wear a butt pad
Butt Pad
Click the link below to get your butt pad for $22
3) Get butt implants
4) Do squats, lunges, and the stair master at the gym
This is the most logical solution. Trust me, it works, you’ll feel good, your butt wont feel “weird”, its something that you can actually control unlike your parents, and its inexpensive unlike implants. And you will look amazing in your cocktail party dress from the Estava Morioka collection when you take advantage of our Holiday sale after a good workout session at the gym.
I thought this article was really funny… I think there is room in the world of “nice butts” to have more than one type of nice butt. I think that a survey of men would show that there is more than one type of preferred butt. In the fashion world there is room too.
I completely agree with you. They’re are many types of “nice butts”. Everyone is different and we all have our own individual standards of beauty. I guess I have just been noticing that more men have a preference for big butts.
So, this is an interesting twist: fashion meets Real BFFs from Orange County
I enjoyed reading your narrative. Fake butts are sad. You get home with your new friend and start taking off all that stuff, he’s going to do a double-take and say, “Oh, hi! Are you Keisha’s sister? You sure is skinny, girl!” LOL
Cheers,
Mitch
Mitchell Allen recently posted..Dinner Party Line of Sight
Hahaha. thats very funny! Thanks for the comment Mitchell. I sure hope that this doesnt happen to you.
Excellent post!If you just want to lift your butt and also get a firmer and rounder butt at the same time without making your butt too much bigger then just do a workout without using any extra weights.Squats are always suggested for “butt-firming.
Im a squat and lunge whore. I’m obsessed with them. Im about to go to the gym now to do some…
thanks for the comment
There was never a line to use the squat machines at the gym until this butt phenomenon started. Too funny! Great post btw!
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I think it’s hysterical that woman are so self-conscious that they’ve invented a pad that will boost their behind. It’s like the reverse Wonder-Bra, don’t you think? But I’m with you on the squats and lunges. Nothing like a little bit of lift after some good cardio to melt the cellulite (or at least mine.)
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Yeah, It definitely like the reverse wonder-bra. I dont have much of a problem with the butt pads. I’m just more concerned with what these women are going to do when they have to get naked in front of a man…
This is really the safest non-toxic way to get a big booty.
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lol…it sure is. thanks for the comment!
Sometimes that is just too much booty. If you have the shape then so be it, but I say do it naturally and just work out and eat right.
Sonia recently posted..How to Send Google + Invites to your Friends
The butt pad is one of the funniest things I’ve seen when it comes to women’s supplemental undergarments.Seems to me some people just take it too far!! While some women are more interested in enhancing their looks to the point of becoming ridiculous, other women are learning to accept and appreciate their figures. I agree with Sonia…exercise and healthy eating are the best remedies for these things. Not only does it target areas you are most interested in helping out, but it makes you feel fantastic!
You are right its funny how the times have changed. I used to be a breast man and now its totally about the butt. I do have to say squats and lunges are not going to produce the derrieres you discuss here. If you were not blessed the only true options are the implants or butt pads.
As a woman how would you explain the butt pads to a man you were dating?
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It seems like you have to work super hard to get a butt like that for women. I think if women start to wear butt pads the guys will get upset when they see them.
Has this worked for anybody? and how many time a week?
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Lucy,
I totally agree that adding the padding is absolutely hilarious!
I am trying to lose weight myself so I do not understand why someone would want to add more padding to make it look bigger.
I agree that some people take the enhancements way too far. However, it is nice to know that women are willing to accept things the way they are.
I know it has taken me a long time to accept the way I am built and for whatever reason I will always be a little bit doughy no matter how hard I try to lose weight.
I have tried exercising and eating healthy and I just seem to look the same so I have learned to accept it and be happy with myself : )
Jordan
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